thepaganperspective

Musings of a Pagan Philosopher

23 May 2012
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Paganism and a Crisis of Faith

I have been absent from my blog and from Pagan circles in general for the last 2 months.  I experienced a veritable crisis of faith concerning Paganism.  I began to ask myself what the hell I was doing in Paganism and what it really had to offer me? Paganism was wonderful for celebrating the cyclical changes in the macrocosm and the microcosm, for attuning and connecting to the Earth Mother, for establishing a framework of interconnectivity and sacrality amongst all life, and for the performance of magic. Something seemed to be missing, though. I was in a boat in the middle of the ocean, lost without a rudder or a compass, and desperately trying to find a way back to myself. In these times of personal crisis (divorce, loss of a loved one, financial loss, etc.), I was looking for an anchor, some spiritual teaching or practice to help me find my way.  Celebrating the sabbats and honoring the earth are wonderful practices, but they aren’t designed to help me navigate the monsoon of a mid-life crisis. Magic is a wonderful and powerful tool, but if I am operating from a place of emptiness – a place where self-love, self-knowledge, and self-acceptance are in doubt – then magic will not help me reclaim those parts of myself because personal power is a pre-requisite of magic!  Knowing that I am Divine on a cognitive level is wonderful, but not being able embodying that in the experiential realm makes it little more than creative visualization.

Readers of my blog will be familiar with the flurry of posts regarding my journey into the realm of self-discovery.  As I went deeper and deeper down the path of self-inquiry, I was saddened and dismayed by how little Paganism seemed to offer me in the way of self-knowledge and betterment. I was forced to turn to “The Work” of Byron Katie, to the shame and vulnerability research of Brene Brown, to books on self-love by Daphne Kingma and Gerald Jamposky, to books on the language of emotion by Karla McLaren, and to the meridian tapping techniques of EFT.  These teachings, along with my own EMDR therapy, provided the guidance and support I needed to find myself and climb back out of the hole of self-despair. Should a religion be so self-contained as to provide the answers and tools needed to overcome personal crises or are we forced to look outside the bounds of our religion for help?  In other words, is religion supposed to be a complete system of how our world works, what our purpose is, and how to live our lives within it or is it merely something to engage with when we are free of personal struggle and the need to find ourselves? 

I recall being at a public Beltane celebration in my area recently and watching the ritual participants wave their hands in exotic gestures, repeat tired incantations, and perform a ceremony complete devoid of energy, life, or zeal.  It was rote ritual, which I have begun to see more and more often. It all began to feel so empty to me. Sabbats, moons, magic ceremony – I felt like I was at a play rehearsing with beautiful props, but without the drama of a live performance.

What does Paganism have to offer the world? What does our religion bring that heals, empowers, and helps us overcome our life trauma to discover who and what we are? I am at a crossroads in life where I am uncertain whether I want to continue in Paganism or not. I feel that there is soooo much POTENTIAL in Paganism, but that, collectively, we have failed to actualize that potential. We have ritual, we have magic, and we have the outline of a philosophy….. What do you think?  What does Paganism provide us as a people that allow us to dig deep, to find ourselves, to overcome personal adversity?

I sincerely welcome your responses. I want to believe that Paganism has teeth – that is capable of propelling us toward wholeness and completeness, but right now I’m in a boat in the middle of the ocean, waving a wand and watching the waves crash around me.

Posted in Paganism and a Crisis of Faith, Personal Reflections and tagged , ,
20 Apr 2012
1 Comment

Jealousy Means Your are Choosing Seperation

In every moment you have a choice. You can experience separation or you can experience oneness. Do not let jealousy cut you off from your beloved, especially when you most need his or her support.

Recognize all of humanity as your beloved. Experience Earth herself as your beloved. Know that some wonderful being will always be there for you to love and cry and celebrate with. Those who belong together will naturally find each other and give each other great joy.

But what if the separation I experience is REAL ego shrieks. I didn’t choose separation, it chose me. I am the passive, powerless victim of a cruel and heartless world. If I let my beloved be free, she or he will be taken away from me, seduced by another eager to claim them for their own. And I shall be alone.

When jealousy begins to speak, listen but listen with discernment. Be open to the seed of truth in jealousy’s message, but do not believe everything you hear. Tell yourself, I choose to believe in unity. Separation does not rule me.

Posted in Jealousy, Jealousy Means Your are Choosing Seperation and tagged
20 Apr 2012
1 Comment

Jealousy Implies a Lack of Trust

Jealousy ultimately comes down to a lack of trust. A lack of trust in the Universe, in the wisdom of the Universe to unfold according to plan. Somehow, we have the audacity to think that we know better.

Jealousy also implies a lack of trust in yourself, a lack of trust in your own worthiness. Do you fear you can not hold on to your beloved without chaining him or her down? Do you feel you don’t deserve to be loved without constantly having to earn love, win love, out perform the competition?

Do you lack trust in your beloved to know who she or he belongs with? Do you fear your beloved will not listen within and follow his or her inner guidance rather than being wooed by another?

You can learn trust by tuning in to the cycles of nature. Every morning the sun rises, every evening the sun sets. Every month the moon grows smaller and smaller until it disappears. Then it grows larger and larger until it becomes full. Every year the seasons flow from one to another. Everything changes, yet everything remains the same

Posted in Jealousy, Jealousy Implies a Lack of Trust and tagged
18 Apr 2012
1 Comment

Jealousy is Absurd

When the good of the Whole is in everyone’s heart, then we will have heaven on Earth.

When we re-cognize that ultimately we are all One Being, all cells in the body of Earth, all breathing the same air and drinking the same water and living in the same energy field, then we will understand that there is really no way to “lose” a lover. A lover can not go away or be taken away because there is no away.

From this larger perspective, jealousy is absurd. There is no need to anxiously look out for number one because everyone is committed to finding and supporting the best and the highest in everyone else. There is no need to cling desperately to “your” beloved because we are all connected forevermore. You will always be loved and cared for and stroked and pleasured, just as you will always have air to breathe and water to drink and food to eat, so long as we recognize that we are all part of the same whole. We are one.

Absurd as it is, jealousy will come again and again until we remember our true nature. A completely  realized Tantric adept should be able to make love to anyone because they have come to see the unitive consciousness within each being as their true and beautiful nature. Through daily practice, meditation, and the maintenance of an open heart,  this truth will become ingrained in our being until it is the only truth we know.

Posted in Jealousy, Jealousy is Absurd and tagged
17 Apr 2012
3 Comments

Pagan Deism: Three Views

Bridger presents a very interesting conceptual model of deism within Contemporary Paganism. In its simplest  design, Bridger presents the model of a triangle with a red, blue, and yellow side. The triangle is situated with the red side on top and the blue and yellow sides at the left and right of the base.  Each of these sides represents a unique view of deism.

Red: This is the “orthodox deist position” in which the gods are personal, individual, and objectively verifiable. They exist beyond human comprehension, but communicate with us. In keeping with the orthodox position, these are people of faith who do not queston the existence of deity. “They believe the many gods are facts of the universe, impossible to question or doubt without doubting one’s own version of reality. Belief is not a question, it is a cornerstone from which all else of religion springs.”

Blue: These people posit that deity exists, but as an ineffable mystery, which we cannot comprehend. As a result, they anthropomorphize deity into “human-like metaphors and masks upon the faceless Face of the Ultimate.” This is the mystic of the group who views the universe in a holistic manner “where all things are part of one great pattern.”  Life, and the individual by extension, has meaning and purpose and ritual is deigned to allow one to more consciously participate in the rhythms of the universe. “The purpose of a religion is to explore, and more actively participate in, the pattern which is the sum of these many parts.”

Yellow: These people view deity as abstractions of truth with no verifiable objective existence. The utility of the deities lies in “the valid ways of making sense of human thought and experience, personifications of abstracts that might be too slippery for the human mind to grasp. They enrich our lives and are worth believing in.” This individual is naturelyskeptical and has an innate need to know the truth. “This person cannot believe without doubting and cannot reconcile belief without doubt. They usually view deity as symbolic and as a chief metaphor in the quest for self-knowledge.

The value of this geomatric conception is in realizing that the beliefs of most individuals falls somewhere along the spectrum of the triangle and rarely lie in one specific region. It should be noted that the triangle represents conscious beliefs, which should be contrasted against the experiential, and often illogical, nature of the Contemporary Pagan religions.

The more we simply let ourselves experience the Mysteries, and suspend our intepretation of them, the more nearly we approach the apex. The triangular cross-section becomes smaller, the different beliefs draw closer together. At the apex, they merge into a single point  – and it is this point, this rare moment of total immersion in the Mysteries, that all religions have in common. – Bridger, p. 39

Bridger notes that this peak can be seen as the center of a sphere that extends above the triangle, with “non-religion” lying in the void beyond this sphere. This sphere seems reminiscent of Vedantic philosophy, which posits a singular, inclusive reality in which all people lose their indiviudal identities and become one in the void of non-being. Bridger suggests that the areligious void beyond is comprised of some nihilistic religious apathy; however, in many Eastern philosophical systems all indivudals meet in the apex at the center of the sphere, regardless of religious beliefs. Why? Because universal unity is a truism that is independent of belief systems. Contemporary Paganism shares many of the same unitive ideas.

Wiccans (Pagans) whose beliefs plot onto the triangle at very different places can work the same magic, share the same rituals and language, and practice the Craft side by side without ever noticing that what is literal fact for one is metaphorical truth for another. – Bridger, p. 39.

Bridger’s strength is in the structuration of his geometric model of belief patterns.  His treatment of why such a conception is important is more lacking. He stresses the mysterious and experiential nature of Contemporary Pagan religion as being the only thing keeping us from sliding into the development of creeds and dogmatism, but also notes that “we should not bury our heads in the sand and pretend to the nonexistent homogeneity of belief.”  What is the answer then? What does this model imply for Contempory Paganism?

Bridger suggests some nebulous conception of trying to understand and respect one another, but perhaps what is really needed is a deep religious pluralism that does not sacrifice the original nature of religion on the altar of conformity. This idea can be extended to belief patterns.   No matter where one falls in the colorful triangle of beliefs, it is towards the apex that individual strives.  At the apex, there is a dissolution of beliefs, of ego, and of self.  We recognize the unitive nature of the universe and see the gods within ourselves and within each other.

This is a wonderful piece to get you thinking about your conceptions of deity, belief patterns, and ultimate purpose of religion.

Reference:

Bridger, Margarian. “Pagan Deism: Three Views”.  The Pomegranate: A New Journal of NeoPagan Thought. 1997. Vol. 1 Issue 1. p. 37-42.

Posted in Pagan Deism: Three Views, The Pomegranate: Pagan Studies and tagged , ,
17 Apr 2012

Jealousy and Surrender

Jealousy presents us with an opportunity to put aside our personal desires and let Spirit guide us. To trust life to lead us all though the dance harmoniously.

You may be tempted to fall back on control. Control of your beloved, that is. Instead, control your own ego. Learn to stay still when jealousy urges you to action. Let jealousy teach you to surrender, not to ego – whether it’s your own or another’s – but to love. Learn to act only from love.

Enter the love space, surrender to the wisdom of the universe. Tell yourself, this relationship will unfold in such a way that all concerned will ultimately receive the greatest blessing. Speak the truth of your deepest feelings. Do not accuse your beloved. Then get out of the way.

You don’t have to learn to do Thine Will but life works much better when we let go of control.

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17 Apr 2012
2 Comments

Tarot of the Day: Happiness

Generous fulfillment of desires from a source that is pure and cleansing. Reward for patience and love given selflessly. True emotional stability and freedom. The joy is in sharing tender and intimate support and understanding.  Giving love and seeing that love reflected in the eye(s) of the one(s) you care for most is the most powerful and healing magic known to mankind. For those who thrive on happiness from the fulfillment and ambition of their life’s purpose, happiness is feuled by a sense of affirmation or self-worth and ideals. No greater act of humanity can be achieved  than by showing the way and opening a person’s heart to the possibility of happiness. However much we love, however much we achieve, we empower ourselves to be emotionally alive by accepting that the circuit of life requires giving, as well as receiving.

The timing and relevance of the readings I do are so validating. If any of you have been following my posts, you will know that the last few weeks have been one of emotional turmoil, shadow work, and personal growth through challenge.  One of the many lessons I learned is that love is the absence of fear and that to live life wholeheartedly, we have to give love without conditions and without expecting anything in return. The emotional freedom that comes from loosening our egoic grip and giving love freely is profound. I have been experiencing bouts of severe jealousy the last week and a half, which is why I have been posting my daily jealousy meditations.  Someone I love dearly is involved with someone else.  Our romantic relationship has run its course and I have had to learn to loosen my grip, to accept “what is,” and to experience the true nature of love, which is free of fear and jealousy.  When I was able to freely give love without expecting anything in return I felt waves of bliss and freedom wash over me.  I am able to support my beloved’s relationship with another, to be happy for her in her journey, and to free myself from fear and jealousy.  This has led to a profound sense of inner peace and self-love. So often, painful situations are necessary evolutions of our consciousness – the contraction before the expansion. There is such freedom in letting go of fear and the ego – it frees us to experience love in all its wondrous bounty.

Posted in Tarot of the Day, Tarot of the Day: Happiness
16 Apr 2012

Jealousy and Grief

If your relationship is changing, take heart. When all is said and done, it doesn’t matter what form your relationships take (lovers, friends, spouses, primaries, etc.).  Whatever form emerges will be perfect for cosmic purposes. So there’s nothing to do from an expanded point of view (NOT the self-centered and contracted view). You don’t have to struggle to control the love of another.  In fact, you can’t! This is sooo true. You can’t control, nor should you want to, another person. If love comes, accept it. If it does not, accept that.

You cannot have what does not belong to you. If you are wise, you wouldn’t want it anyhow. The only solution is to grieve and let go. This is not easy, but it is necessary. The ego will go on stubbornly trying to fix it, change it, shape it – anything to avoid feeling the pain of loss. Anything to avoid the uncertainty of knowing where and when you will find your next beloved (because the focus on your NEXT beloved removes the focus from yourself and self-love is the basis of all love).

Instead of hanging on, let your love go. Then your beloved has a chance to come back to you. Then you have a chance for a new beginning.

Jealousy is the fuel, feeding the flames of frustrated longing. Do not keep feeding this fire. Let your tears extinguish the flames. Let it burn naturally as you attention shifts to the present moment. Having a healthy attitude toward jealousy does not free you from grief.  Grief will, at some point, make itself known.  Accept the grief hold the pain tightly to you, as a lover. In that embrace you will absorb grief’s lessons and the emotion will dissipate on its own.

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15 Apr 2012

Jealousy is Futile

Jealousy is futile. Whatever you’re fleeing, whatever you’re seeking, jealousy will not get the job done. It will only push your beloved farther away.

Consider the possibility that you could transcend your emotions, your beliefs, and your robotic behavior and choose something which works. Focus on the happiness of your beloved, not on the selfish demands of your own ego. Remember love is expressed through unconditional acceptance, intimacy, and sharing. Merely insuring your own pleasure and security does not qualify as love.

What would you need to do to be able to free yourself from the slavery of jealousy and offer your beloved some genuine support? She or he will deeply appreciate your consideration and love you all the more if you can rise to the occasion.

This meditation is a challenge, a call to realize the potential of love. Whenever jealousy arises, it is a sign that the we are looking at our beloved as a possession and that we mistakenly think our happiness should depend on them.  We often place demands on our beloved that assuage our ego and that enhance our own pleasure. Love has no conditions or restrictions and the placement of them upon our concept of love ironically isolates us from the object of our affections.  Rather than locking your beloved in an iron grip, learn to hold them lightly. Your trust in them and your willingness to love them in any situation will only serve to strengthen the bond between you.

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14 Apr 2012

Jealousy and Responsibility

When jealousy comes calling you may be tempted to blame your beloved. Instead, make good use of this opportunity to take one hundred per cent responsibility for your own feelings – no more, no less.

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean blaming yourself. Simply see yourself with the clear vision of compassion. Accept, love, and if possible come to understand your jealousy. Trace its roots back into your past. Notice the present context in which it appears. Be patient with yourself and be willing to find a new perspective. Remember to breathe!

Now see if you are struggling because you are taking too much responsibility. If you sacrifice your own needs in order to please or protect someone else, jealousy appears to let you know you have taken on too much responsibility and need to redistribute the load. Are you so afraid of making demands on your beloved that you fail to ask for what you want? Share your discoveries with your beloved and the intimacy and love between you will grow and grow.

The immediate, almost involuntary, reaction to jealousy is blame. Blame can take two forms: you can attack your beloved and you can attack yourself.  The first stems from treating your beloved as a possession, even if one is in a polyamorous relationship. The second takes the form of shame and comparison. In either situation, it is important to evaluate which form of blame we are employing so that we know how to love ourselves. Our feelings, our emotional bullshit, is our problem.  We have to be responsible for owning our own feelings and changing the ones we don’t like; it is not our beloved’s responsibility. This does not mean that you can’t ask for what you want – you should.  You clearly and calmly state what you need from this person and why, but you let go of the story and the emotion you have attached to the idea because that is the source of your pain and jealousy. Open, honest, and frank, but loving communication will solve many of these issues if both people are vested in the relationship.

Posted in Jealousy, Jealousy and Responsibility and tagged | Leave a Comment

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